Dating update w/c Jan 9/17 – YTD first dates 5

This week I had 3 dates but 2 were second dates so the YTD counter didn’t move much. I started the week agreeing to dates with at least a dozen men but majority of them failed to sort out logistics and lock me down for a date.  Three of them asked me in the middle of logistics, “what I was looking for on the site”, I tried three different responses, “Looking to meet new people”, “looking to date and see”, “you first” in all cases the outcome was the same they did not follow through on the date.  In my experience no guy that has asked this question has been interested in just dating and meeting someone nice.  I wait to be proven wrong.

  • Second date – Wed 11th Jan – Tinder Prince2: He planned the date based on my profile, Mexican food for dinner followed by a sci-fi movie, I really appreciated that. Some pink flags cropped up, he said he had been renting a storage container for his stuff since splitting up with his ex as she had a really large house and he accumulated a lot of stuff. Issue I have is that he broke up with his ex in 2010! An ambitions man would have found a larger place for himself, a sensible one would have decluttered.  He has sent me a couple of messages postdate but none of them were asking me out so I have ignored.
  • First date – Fri 13th Jan – Tinder: NEXT – we spoke on the phone in Dec and he mentioned he had a 9yr old daughter which for me is a deal breaker. However, my dating coach (India Kang) has been urging me to keep an open mind so as he managed to lock me down for a date I thought I’d go.  I need to point out that unlike some of my other dates this guy did the bare minimum, after finding a day that worked he asked me for where and when.  Below is the exchange that followed:

Me: “Anytime after 6:30pm near ABC tube station”.

Him: “Great I’ll head over your way at 6:30pm”

Him: (on date day) “Are we still on for tonight?”

Me: “yes”

Him: “Great where am I headed?”

Me: (fighting the urge to tell him to read my messages) “ABC tube station”

Him: “Great see you at 6:30pm!”

Me: “Sorry, can we do a bit later? Closer to 7ish?” (again annoyed that he would pick 6:30pm when I had clearly said AFTER”

Him: (at 6pm) “I’m here, no rush take your time, I’ll wander around the shops”

Me: (at 6:45pm) “Where shall I find you?”

Him: “I’m in DEF part of the shopping area”

Him: (at 7:05pm) “I’m heading back to the station exit”

Me: (at 7:30pm) “I’m here” (not rulesy but I really didn’t know how else to find him)

Him: “will come up to the exit now”

This was the most annoying exchange as I wished he had taken charge and said I’m in XYZ coffee shop/bar or restaurant.  Where we met there were at least a 100 places to choose from and he couldn’t in over an hour of waiting for me and wandering around find even one!!!

I met him and he was SHORT, and usually I can tell from the profile pics if they don’t put their height down but I got it wrong and was annoyed.  Also he looked a lot older than his stated age, closer to 50 than 40, and clearly his pictures were dated.

When we met he asked where we were going so I led him a bit away from the crowds and pointed to a few places and we settled on one. I had to lead as the place he picked was super busy and I couldn’t hear him so suggested one a bit further away.

On the date I discovered he had a naff job doing security and owned a flat out of the city and seemed very happy with no desire to really progress in life.  So I won’t be wasting my time with him again. He has texted and I’ve ignored. NEXT.

  • Second date – Sat 14th Jan – Happn “Detective”: He asked if I’d like to see a movie on Sat, I had agreed, he sent me a few choices then picked when I said they all sounded great. He asked if I’d like to 5pm or 8pm show and I picked the later show.  He then said he would see me at the cinema at 7:45pm.  We met, bought tickets, watched movie walked back to the tube station and said goodbye.  It felt a bit crap that he didn’t offer to go for a drink after or suggest an early dinner before.  During the movie after we finished our popcorn he reached over and took my hand and held it.  I liked the confidence that exhibited but it felt a bit childish.  I then didn’t know what to do with my hand, could I at some point take it back?  It was so innocent that in the end I just let him hold it for the rest of the movie which was 90mins.  On the walk back to the station I kept my hands in my jacket pocket.  When we said goodbye he grabbed the sides of my arms (my hands were still in my pocket) and pulled me in for a peck on the lips.  I did pull back almost as soon as our lips locked, I didn’t want to kiss him, but I didn’t mind AT ALL!

Overall this week wasn’t as successful in my eyes as last week.  I started to think I wasn’t putting in enough of an effort towards dating and finding new men.  But then I had to remind myself that I have NEVER dated in January.  If single Jan is for getting back to my dating weight and hibernating in warm pubs with good friends.  But I’ve been on 8 dates since the start of this year which is more socialising than I’m used to.  I have a few good leads for next week and hope I can manage 2 first dates.

Thanks for reading!

DatingDiva xx


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