Total dates this week 2, both first dates, and only arranged 2 so had they not worked out I would not have hit my quota. I can honestly say that had I not made a commitment to a 100 first dates and this blog this would have been the week that broke my resolve. Anyway, I survived and here is the update for the “Blob” date. The guys this week were so similar they deserve only one entry.
First date – Tue/Thurs Jan 24/26 – Tinder: Both my dates were on the “few extra pounds” side of the scale, around 5ft10, with light eyes, dirty blonde hair and generally attractive faces. They both asked me out and then failed to plan anything, I had to tell them my time and place preferences and they just simply showed up at the meeting point.
When this happens I do end up navigating them to my preferred wine bar as it has good cheap wine, soft jazz /house in the background, comfy seating, table service (so I don’t have to watch the guy when he goes to the bar to get me a drink in case he decides to slip something into it), and most importantly snacks. We usually meet around 7pm, but the Rules recommends not having dinner on the first meeting as that can take longer than the max 2 hrs, this bar is perfect as they have very accessible and healthy snack options and every other date will order something for us to munch on which is a lifesaver. While the rules requires that the man chooses the place, my coach India Kang had written in her book “How to date” that majority of her dates took her to the same place. I asked her about it as it was a nice place and she said, “well you take them to the main street and point out a few options for them to pick. If you say a particular place is nice they will usually pick the place you compliment to impress you.” Job done!
This is how it goes down, they ask where, I say XYZ tube station, they say where around there so I say the clocks which is a landmark or they pick one of the bars right outside the station. We meet, we walk into one of the 4 bars around the station, they quickly realise it is far too loud and crowded to have a decent conversation and look at me for a suggestion. I tell them the bars on the other side of the shopping centre are quieter and then we walk across the retail section, as we come out the other end the atmosphere is a lot less busy and most of the guys start to relax. I then point to the options, the pubs by the canal, my favourite bar, and some other bars in restaurants. They usually go lets go to the wine bar or ask do you want to go there and I say, “up to you, maybe full” which then implies it is popular and seals the deal. I feel slightly evil, but they do feel it is their choice and some will even pat themselves on the back for picking the bar, the intelligent ones will thank me for introducing them to it.
Not sure if the above may have alluded you to the problem but here is what happened. I took two very similar looking men to the same bar 48 hrs apart. On the second occasion, the bar manager comes up to us and goes, “You two can’t get enough of each other, and back here again! Can’t keep away, I love it.” Look on my face pure mortification, my date looked thoroughly confused. Then my date said, “this is the first time I’ve been here”, now the bar manager looked confused and I didn’t know where to look as I was sure he was going to twig these were two different dates.
Bar manager to my date, “You have a very familiar face, I thought I’d recognised you”
Date, “Oh yes I’m on channel 5”, which prompted my face to go from mortification to quizzical
Bar manager, “No way, which show, I knew I recognised you”
Date, “Have you seen the show about the… I’m just kidding, I’m not on TV”
Bar manager, “ha ha you had me there”
Then a bromance ensued, resulting in us both ordering a second glass of wine. I normally only have one glass and then some water but I needed some liquid courage after nearly being made!
Fortunately my date thought the bar manager was just being friendly and complimented the service. I smiled and nodded generally relieved that I wasn’t caught out.
I never heard from the Tues date and I didn’t expect to, on the date he established we worked in a similar field and would likely run into each other with work so I watched him talk himself out of a second date in front of me. He subsequently unmatched me from Tinder, I didn’t mind, think he was intelligent enough to have worked out that simply having a well-paying job and a nice flat wasn’t going to impress me and he didn’t want to actually put in any more effort so happy he got to his conclusion quickly.
Thursday date I had significantly more chemistry with, he was a chatty guy and I liked everything he said. Both men asked intelligent and interesting question rather than the usual rubbish that I get asked so they were good company, but this one somehow just clicked better. At the end of the evening, when we said good night he grabbed the back of my head and went in for a kiss on the lips. I really didn’t like it and ducked out from under his hand. He then said come on I’ve embarrassed myself now. Pre the rules I would have felt bad or even allowed the guy to kiss me to know that he liked me. Post the rules I was offended and didn’t care that he felt embarrassed. I did a Sorry (not sorry at all) giggled and walked away. He sent a text apologising for being “fresh” I ignored it and hoped that would be the end of it. Unfortunately he has asked me out again so I guess I’ll give him a go. Second dates are usually a lot better than the first as it is harder for the guys to lock me down a second time and in doing so I’ve usually warmed a bit more to them so generally more appreciative of their efforts and happier to see them. We shall see if he succeeds in securing a second date…
Thanks for reading,
Dating Diva xx