So in spite of agreeing to go on dates with at least 6 men and having 3 of them confirm, date, time and location only one date materialised on the last day of the week. One poofed after failing to move the date earlier and the other cancelled last minute without rescheduling. I’m still on track for my goal, and with 10 dates I’m 10% done against my goal!
First date – Sun Feb 5th – Tinder: Logistics for this date were painful to navigate but I feel the need to share as it all builds up to a rather large vent. Needless to say he was a next but read on if you are curious to learn how he successfully murdered my light and breeziness.
After over a month of slow messaging via the app he finally got to fixing a date and then asked if I’d meet him in Greenwich which is an area I can walk to from my house but a bit out of the way. Also, it felt like he was asking me to come to him so I decided to stick to my usual very popular and developed tube station.
While he agreed to meet me at my chosen location he asked me to suggest where we could go, I ignored the comment and responded by requesting at time. Then he called me to ask me where to go in the area, to which I provided a vague response about there being a choice of bars to pick from. Then he asked me how he could get to the suggested meeting point, this really tested my patience!! How can a man that navigated an app to find me, not know how to look up directions on the internet? When I pretended not to understand the question he seemed to mumble some options of how he could come to meet me. We agreed a slot between 6 -7pm. At 4pm he called again we confirmed the date for around 7pm and then he asked me if there was parking where we were meeting. At this point I’d lost all interest in meeting him and just said “Sorry I don’t drive maybe you can look it up on google”. If he hadn’t been the only date I had for the week I think I would have just asked to reschedule and poofed. (The things I do as a commitment to this blog!)
At 7pm I arrived at the meeting point but didn’t exit the station as I had a bad feeling he was going to find the ordeal of navigating from 20 mins away too much to handle.
At 7:05pm he called me to say he had just got his car from the garage and he was going to head my way via a particular travel option. He asked how long it would take me to get to the agreed location, at this point I had lost all the light and breezy in me and I simply stated, “I’m … here, figured you would have used your phone prior to now to communicate delays.” He then proceeded to mumble a lot of “oh dears, I’m so sorry, excuse, excuse, excuse”. Eventually he begged me to get a coffee as he rushed over. Then I got a text 20 mins later informing me of his progress on his chosen route.
He then called at 7:40pm to inform me he had arrived at the agreed station, but instead of being a man and asking me where he could find me he decided to be child and ask me how he could get to me, helpfuly stating, “I’m at this section of the station.” I told him I was at a bar in xyz location. He then asked me if he should turn left or right from where he was. I told him to use a map. I’m sure none of this was rulesy but let’s face it this guy is not an Alpha male. Furthermore, given the difficulty he had navigating the 20km distance from his comfort zone near his home to the general centre of the city he supposedly lives in I’m sure he was on the lower end of the IQ scale. He then informed me he would ask some poor chap for directions and eventually got a stranger to hold his adult hand to escort him to me. (I’m being sarcastic about the last bit)
Upon arrival he didn’t take charge, he simply begged me to lead the way so we walked into the bar closest to the station we met at. Once we settled in with our drinks and he was done apologising I discovered that he had no kids but an adult (25 yr old) daughter. The depression that set upon me when I realised that I was old enough to be dating men that had adult children was beyond off-putting.
If it wasn’t abundantly clear this idiot was beta, he proved it by not making any attempt to lead the date he was currently on but simply offering to buy me dinner another time to make up for his general inadequacy as a man. I thought you couldn’t even offer me a decent drink or plan a date outside of one square mile of your house how exactly are you going to achieve taking me to dinner? I said, “sure, sounds great” I remember this response was so hard for me only 6 months ago when I started rules dating that I argued with India Kang (my coach) about being dishonest when I had no intention of following through on a second meeting. I remember her explaining that 99% of these guys will not need any follow through as they will fail to follow up on the next date. Now agreement to all the nonsense men spout on dates just happens so naturally as my mind wanders about whatever actually matters to me.
He spent the date going on about how nervous he was to come and meet me as we hadn’t spoken much and so he hadn’t chatted me up to ask me out. I kept thinking I’m here moron why don’t you use these “infamous” chat up lines that you keep telling me you didn’t get a chance to use on me beforehand.
Anyway a lot of smiling and nodding later he asked 40mins into the date how I was doing on time and I said I’d better be heading home. As we walked to the station he mused about how where we were was so close to where he lives that he should really come here more often, it was so nice with such a lot going on. It took real restraint not to swing my purse at his head.
Worst of all he tried to kiss me on the lips after that pathetic attempt at a date, he wasn’t too shy to attempt getting his filthy grey teeth on my lips – NO WAY!!!
He has since texted asking me out for dinner, I’m ignoring I’m not a saint and I can’t handle light and breezy around him. I’m sure my coach would tell me this is great practice for when I’m married but I know I’ll at least love the fool I marry, not putting up with idiots….
Oh gosh, didn’t realise how much I needed to vent about this one…
Thanks for reading!
Dating diva xxx