Going through the motions:
Skipped the update last week as there were no first dates. It was valentines’ day week and generally given there wasn’t anyone I considered special enough to see that day I blanked the week. This did have a knock on impact on this week so only 1 first date.
First date – Tue Feb 21st – EliteSingles – This guy poofed prior to our date a few weeks back but when he asked again I decided to give him a chance. It was a really convenient coffee date in the middle of the work day. We both work in the same area so were able to meet up in a coffee shop less than 10 mins from our respective offices. On our date I discovered he had worked for my company for a number of years and we knew a fair few people in common including my housemate. The date was fairly average, he wasn’t my type but I’d gone along as with the rules I don’t add a layer of my own preference, I just go with the framework. Usually most men never follow though for a second date so I really just enjoy the experience and what it teaches me about myself. When I came home I asked my housemate if she knew the guy and it turned out they both had changed jobs and were once again working on the same floor in the new company. Not mentioned on this profile was the fact that he was very recently divorced with a baby that was no more than 3 years old. Both are not appealing pieces of information to me. He has not asked to meet again so I will release this with the knowledge that I LOVE having coffee dates as they take minimal time and effort.
Third date – Sun 26th Feb – Tinder – this is the promising date zero from the last post, who was my only date last week and asked me out again for this week. While he did start out as a contender, his second date was a repeat of our DZ, as in he showed up in my area and asked me to take him somewhere. Then he nexted himself by first suggesting that he come around to mine for brunch for our third date, he’d bring the champagne. I followed the script and replied, “Thanks, but I prefer to go out.” His suggestion for the super casual date not only revealed his intentions but also made clear that he really doesn’t listen to what I say. Being a follower of the rules I say very little on dates, and on our last date I imparted 3 nuggets of information not already on my profile. They were that I don’t cook, enjoy watching movies and love Prosecco. I don’t like Prosecco because it is cheaper than Champagne, I like it because of the dry light taste and generally consistent experience due to how the wine is processed. Not that these strong preferences were shared, but I do state on my profile that I like Italian food so why would I then prefer to pair it with a French wine when the Italian alternative is fantastic? So I can only assume given the message arrived at 8am the next morning he was thinking with his downstairs brain. Anyway, I was hoping he would poof but he managed to navigate my limited responses to secure a third date. And for the third week in a row he showed up to my area and asked me to take him somewhere nice as I was the “local expert”, to which I replied, “really think Google is a local expert, I’m just finding my way”. So he picked the third decent restaurant in my area (previously provided as an option on prior dates) and we went there. At the end of the date he asked me to split the bill and it made me super happy as that meant I could now within the rules decline any further date requests from him.
It does seem silly that I would not just rule out a guy when he failed to impress me but I have decided for this year to give myself over to the rules entirely. I practice the rules with an open mind and the belief that “everything always works out for me.” What I’m discovering is that taking away my “bias” and prejudice from the process is teaching me things about myself that I wasn’t aware of as I would never go out of my comfort zone enough to uncover them. I’m really enjoying this journey of self-discovery and I’m glad to have a few readers to keep me going.
Thanks for reading,
Dating Diva xx