Duty dating

Dating update w/c Feb 27/17 – YTD first dates 17

Last week I was exceptionally busy with work and helping my housemate with her wedding so I did not have time to swipe on Tinder.  That said I had a couple of weeks prior got some absolutely amazing professional photos done and gone ahead and updated all my profiles with new photos.  This yielded a flurry of new messages that I barely had time to respond to.  Even with replies once every 48hr or longer I ended up agreeing to meet 6 men!  I cringed as I said yes because with working 12 – 14 hr days and weekends due to a key work deadline I was unable to actually go on the dates I was agreeing to.  This did, however, give me the advantage of filtering out anyone not too keen.  Only two dates materialised, and neither were guys I’d been excited to me.

First Date – Tue 28th Feb – Happn – He wasn’t my type but sent me a charm so I decided to give him 4 messages, during which he acquired my number and called to lock in a date.  He insisted on meeting for “coffee” at 6pm which annoyed me as I’d have preferred meeting during the afternoon given we both worked in the same area.  But he did pick a bar very close to my office which was the only saving grace of the entire date.  I had to push the date back to 7pm as an urgent meeting was scheduled for 6pm, and when I arrived I was quite mentally exhausted.  I tried to convince myself this was a good thing as I could just sit and sip my drink and relax. To my surprise it really did help as the date was extremely awkward so having work at the forefront of my mind meant I was able to zone out and just think about work during the many awkward silences. While, used to the silences after many first dates I wasn’t prepared for the awkward comments like “ah you are wearing the dress from your profile picture, it must be your favourite.”  What am I to say to that?  “yes, I live in this dress”.  Better comments received from other suitors have been, “you look great”, “that dress really suits you”, “that is your colour” and “oh, so glad you wore the dress from your profile picture you look really hot in it!”  Anyway, I gave him an awkward smile.  He then stated the following comments none of which helped his cause:

“I take an uber to work every day both ways, cheaper than owning a car”

“I can fly a plane, I used to own one”, sorry mate just not buying that.

“India has a better quality of life, you can have a live in maid, chef, chauffer. Really dislike having to sort things out for myself”, go back then!

He was also very weird about ordering, made a point of asking about the non-alcoholic drinks, then instead of picking a juice combination already on the menu he asked for one to be made with an unusual combination of fruit and veg.  When his slug arrived, his face expressed that it tasted as unappetising as it looked.

When his hour was finally up and I said I had to get going, however, instead of trying to get the bill or making any attempt to wrap things up he simply stated “so good for one but no second date huh?” I just didn’t know what to say as I don’t feel the need to sooth a grown man’s ego and he wasn’t really asking me out again so I just stated I was tired.  Then he unhelpfully pointed out he had an earlier start than me most days. Eventually when he made no attempt to release me from my prison, I simply got up, said good bye and walked out.  NEXT

First date – Fri 3rd Mar – OKC – He was sweet, chatty and fairly good company.  Having decided to give myself over to the rules process, I try not to focus on the looks though his short, round figure while cute in a childish way did nothing for me.  As he chatted on I went through my check list, what does he bring to the table to enhance my life?  The thing that became clear as he spoke was he had no ambition.  Having been made redundant from a lucrative IT role in the financial sector he had settled into a similar lower pressure job with a local council where hours and benefits were good but progression and pay lacking.  He now eagerly awaited being made redundant from this role as he was aware he was doing the job of an analyst being paid a manager’s salary and he had no interest in stepping.  This was more off putting to me than his looks and I wrapped up the date in an hour so I could return to the office.  I was hoping he would eventually disappear if I didn’t reply to his messages but he has sent me several messages in the past week looking to meet up when he returns from his holiday.  I was planning on sending a no-spark text, however, my coach’s voice seems to be in my head going, “don’t dismiss the keen ones even if you don’t like them, they can surprise  you”  so now I’m going to give him one more chance.  The rules are fairly effective at weeding out the unambitious as you need drive to date a rules girl, they never are easy to get and if a guy doesn’t fight for the betterment of his own life how will he manage the chase?

Guess I will find out soon enough, until next time.

Thanks for reading,

Dating Diva xx


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