Actions speak louder than words

Dating update w/c May 29/17 – YTD first dates 38

Seven dates were confirmed early on in the week and 5 materialised of which 4 were first dates, overall a very good way to end the month.  As I was in Ibiza for half of the prior week anyone that asked me to meet over the weekend was offered the bank holiday Monday which was the day I flew back into town.  Four men were provided the opportunity to take me out on my one weekend day in London and two men succeeded. One guy got so hung up on the fact that my distance on the app increased to several hundred miles that instead of arranging the date he decided I was lying about my availability and is possibly still complaining about not being able to meet me on the Monday.  The other guy didn’t really bother locking me down on Monday then managed to book me for the Sat of the next week only to bail last minute but not before nexting himself by incorrectly using “you’re” instead of “your”.  I also managed to stack my dates on Wednesday but that wasn’t as effective as the Monday stack although it all worked out in the end and I did have some lovely dates.

First date – Mon 29th May – Tinder (4pm): This guy was very specific on the date and time, though picked a lovely location when informed of my preferences.  He was also super tall (a foot taller than me) and informed me that he would be rectifying the situation by going under the knife later in the week to fuse two disks in his spine which would cause him to lose an inch of height.  Overall he delivered some really lovely stories and one was so funny that I cried with laughter which wasn’t ideal given the make-up needed to last for another date.  He asked me out on another date which I was delighted to accept and await his recovery post-surgery for logistics to be agreed.

First date – Mon 29th May – Tinder (5:30pm):  I pushed this date back by 30 mins to allow me adequate stacking time.  Both dates were in London Bridge where the recent terrorist attacks took place, and now I’m quite shaken as I have on several occasions been at the location of the attack at the time of the attack on dates or social engagements therefore this attack did hit close to home. Apologies for the side bar, my earlier date walked me to the tube station where I pretended to get on my train but instead walked to the other side of the platform and exited the station to walk to the next date location.  This date had also picked a lovely location conveniently on the opposite side of the station to the first.  As soon as he spotted me he stood up from his seat which was something that really struck me about this guy more than the last one who made a similar move but not as smoothly.  Both men had a similar look, this one looked like his best picture while the former looked significantly better than all his profile pictures. After promptly getting me a drink we had the usual chat.  He commented on my distance on the app and seemed suitably impressed that I’d met him only a few hours after landing in the country and complimented my appearance.  Overall, the date was very pleasant but I was exhausted and he picked up on this accommodating my timely exit.  As he walked me back to the tube station, I noticed that we were walking quite close to each other and the proximity was welcome.  On most first dates I’m careful to put my hands in jacket pockets or around my purse handle so as not to have it available for holding I also usually put my handbag between my body and his to create space.  I was quite surprised to discover that as we walked the hand next to him was purse free dangling in a manner begging to be held.  As soon as I became aware I moved and occupied the hand.  When we got to the junction where we parted ways he stood very close to me and informed me that he had enjoyed my company and would very much like to see me again.  I agreed and then he noted that he was away for the rest of the week out of town and would be in touch upon his return.  As I walked away I had this overwhelming feeling of attraction towards this guy that I haven’t felt before and really can’t explain given my date earlier in the day was also brilliant.  I wonder if being the second great date he benefited from a double dose of gratitude.  I await in hope of hearing from him to unpick this feeling.

First date – Wed 31st May – Tinder (6:30pm):  While in Ibiza I had a nagging suspicion that I’d agreed to go on two dates on Wed while also having plans with a fellow RG that evening which had been in the diary for over a month.  Given general poofage rates I decided one would flake and this guy was the one I’d put my money on.  Unfortunately the day before the date he confirmed and suggested a location near London Bridge.  Ordinarily on weekdays I prefer to meet in my area of work which isn’t in the city centre, however, as I was planning to go into town for my non date related social activity I agreed to his suggested location given it was still within my dating area and enroute to my social engagement. Much to my chagrin the social engagement I was heading to was cancelled and the other date also confirmed but closer to my work on the other end of my 2 mile dating radius.  I wasn’t keen on this date as his communication style wasn’t as eager and his pictures were off putting.  The guy I met was significantly more attractive than his pictures but not as attractive as either of the Monday dates, had I not met two beautiful men at the start of the week I’d have been very happy with my date’s appearance.  I decided to give him his time and was pleasantly surprised by all aspects of him including his personality and how he made a game of my one word non-specific answers by trying to guess the details.  He offered to buy me dinner after our first drink but I used that as an excuse to inform him I had dinner reservations and I had to get going.  He unfortunately took that as rejection and hasn’t pursued me further.

First date – Wed 31st May – Tinder (8pm): This guy asked me after the first and confirmed logistics later.  Given he had requested a similar time to my first date I requested a reschedule claiming to be “stuck at work”, to my very pleasant surprise he said he was happy to wait until I was ready.  He had picked a nice Thai place near where I work which is the only Thai restaurant in that area and unfortunately the ladyboy hostess has clocked me on two different dates and suspects I conduct different type of transaction with these men. Hence, I will need to change my dining preference to Japanese on my dating profile as there is more choice of that in the area where I work. A pleasant date that fed me and asked me out again but the follow through wasn’t strong so this will go no further.

Second date – Fri 2nd Jun – OKC: So the Starbucks guy from a couple of weeks ago managed to wrangle another date with me.  He had the entire week off but failed to do any research for the date and nexted himself before the date by offering to cook me dinner.  When I declined as I wasn’t going to show up to some bloke’s house after having known him for less than 2 hrs he agreed to meet me exactly where we had met for our first date.  He then proceeded to offer me a drink at the same bar as before.  However, as it was Friday evening the bar was packed and loud so I just said I wasn’t keen to go there.  We shortly navigated to my favourite wine bar where without asking he ordered us a bottle of wine.  He didn’t offer me any food to go with the wine and I was grateful to the pushy staff at the bar that essentially told the idiot that it was impolite not to feed a lady especially when drinking a bottle of wine. Throughout the evening this guy complimented me, and said he liked how mysterious and confident I was.  He said he would remind me of how I was on this date when we were a proper couple as he was sure I’d show him more of my personality.  He talked about our future together and how he was glad to have met me as I was just the girl he was looking for, “the one” may have been mentioned.  When the bottle of wine came to an end he asked if he should order another.  I said, I really couldn’t drink so much without proper food to which he replied, “why I’ve had a big lunch.”  This revealed more about him then all his empty words, he wasn’t really interested in me, it was all about him.  He wanted to get me drunk so he could get laid and whatever he had to say to get that accomplished was collateral damage.  I declined his generous offer for another drink and went to the toilet in hopes that he would get the bill.  I returned to a fresh glass of wine.  I ordered some more nibbles which I finished, the wine was left virtually untouched and we wrapped up the date 30 mins later.  He got 3 hours on Friday evening and he failed to buy me dinner. He asked to see me again and I said, “sure, sounds great” knowing full well I’d never see him again.  After another attempt at getting me to come over to his for the next date and some vague plans for lunch on Sat, we said good bye and I didn’t give him the option of taking me back to the tube.  I never heard from him again, which was as expected.

I am glad for the rules as they have taught me to watch the actions of men and not what they speak.  In the past I would have thought this Friday night date was a great date and wondered why I never heard from this guy.  I would have most likely kissed him at the end of the date, but his behaviour didn’t earn him a kiss and I’ve only learnt that in the last year.  I no longer wonder why I never hear from them, I leave confident in the knowledge of exactly which brain was in operation.

Thanks for reading,

Dating Diva xx

Dating Diva xx

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