The Italian Job

Dating update w/c Jul 24/17 – YTD first dates 42

Second week back on all the dating apps and after agreeing to 6 dates I had 2 materialise.  Two dates rescheduled to next week, one poofed and one called me an hour before our agreed meeting time pretending he had forgotten what we had planned.  I didn’t want to remind him of our agreed plan as it felt too eager.  The guy tried to change the time of our date from Sat afternoon to Sat night, which I wouldn’t have minded had he just been honest about running late.  But he went about it by pretending not to remember and when I didn’t assist, insisting that I wanted to meet him Sat night and then when I said I had plans so I don’t believe I would have agreed to it he got upset.  After we hung up he sent me a rude text asking me to delete his number.  This only made me laugh as I barely replied to his texts and missed more calls from him than I accepted, so why would he need me to delete his number, it wasn’t exactly being used was it?  He then followed up the text with a few badly written messages on the dating app which resulted in him getting blocked.  Though in one of his grammatically incorrect messages he did admit to lying to me but said the way I spoke to him was very rude and uncalled for. So clearly I lost out big time on meeting my prince charming, NOT.

First date – Thu 28th Jul – Tinder: Started speaking to this guy back before my hiatus and he didn’t seemed phased by my 3 week absence from messaging.  I did like his persistence and even though English was not his first language he was able to lock me down for a date.  Now that I’ve been following the Rules for just over a year I am no longer phased by men complaining about how they can’t get me to go on a date with them.  If a guy that has been in the country for a only a few months and doesn’t speak the language can find a way to get me to meet him then I’m clearly not impossible to get.  Also, it has nothing to do with looks or how attractive the guy’s profile is as I didn’t even remember what this guy looked like as it was so long since we matched.  As it happened he was, shorter than me in modest heels and looked like the Jewish engineer on Big Bang Theory, with the super tight skinny jeans, big nose and bad hair to match.  To make matters worse he had strong body odour and pungent bad breath.  A winner!

As soon as I met him I wanted to accept the offer of help from the cute copper who was trying to chat me up while I waited for my date. When he asked for a locale suggestion I navigated in the grey rules space and took him straight to my favourite wine bar. If I was going to spend an hour with a smelly Howard Wolowitz I needed to be in the company of good wine.  Once we were settled in my favourite corner the date flourished.  He convinced me to go for the slightly more expensive red on the menu which was delightful as was his personality.  I had planned on running after the first glass was drunk but when he finished his he asked if I wanted another glass.  I declined the offer so he stated he would get one for himself.  I wasn’t sure what to do as I hadn’t quite finished mine, but there wasn’t enough to keep him company for a second glass.  He left the table to order his glass and when he returned he stated he ordered me one as well. I was surprised and gave him the, “are you pulling my leg” look but he assured me he had ordered the second glass but I didn’t have to drink it if I didn’t want to.  When we had seated he had asked if I wanted to order some snacks but I’d declined as I hadn’t planned on giving him 2 hrs. However, now seated in my favourite bar, in my favourite spot with wine that was better than my usual really satisfying order and fairly decent company I decided I’d enjoy that second glass with the bar’s really yummy olives. So I asked if I could have some given he had ordered me a second glass and I couldn’t drink without nibbling.  At this point he laughed and said, “yes, when waiter brings me my glass I will order your glass and olives so you will stay”.  I really did enjoy his ingenuity in getting me to give him another hour of my time. He even clocked on that I drank the second glass faster.  What he doesn’t know is that every other date that I’ve ended at the bar I’ve escaped to my office so as not to get on the train with the guy, but I actually let him have the extra 15 mins of commute to the train station and the ride to my stop.

He has given me the weekend to decide if I’d like to go to his sister’s traditional Italian wedding with him in September and asked to see me again next week.  Even though I am very likely to be sailing by the wedding venue in September his personality doesn’t mask his BO so I doubt I’ll see him again.


First date – Sun 30th Jul – Tinder: Wasn’t uber keen to meet him as his English was poor and then when I checked his profile once the date was confirmed I noticed a picture of him smoking which had I seen it before I would never have agreed to the date.  As it happens he had quit smoking a month ago and was quite proud of this.  Unfortunately he still had yellow smoker’s teeth and worked as a chef at whole foods, not even a restaurant.  I think this is probably my 10th Chef this year!  We had a coffee and when our drinks were done he suggested going for a walk in the nearby park, which I politely declined and bolted home.

Both dates this week were Italian and as I sat sipping a lovely Pinot Noir not really listening to my date talk on Thursday I realised I have a thing for Italian men.  At the start of the year I had on my profile that I liked Italian and Mexican cuisine.  My coach had suggested French but I adamantly stated I’d eat focaccia over a baguette, cannoli over a croissant and mozzarella over camembert any day! After it felt like every other date I went on was Italian, so I decided to change my food preferences to Thai and Mexican cuisine.  But I’m still dating Italians.  If you’d asked me a year ago if this was what I wanted I would have laughed.  By submitting to the rules and letting them lead me to dates rather then what I think I want I’ve learnt something interesting and the discovery fills me with joy.

Thanks for reading,

Dating Diva xx


2 thoughts on “The Italian Job

  1. Qster

    Well, overall you’re doing great. Look forward to reading your next installment. Would it be paranoid to suggest that some internet pranksters are targeting you by discouraging likely suitors and sending a parade of chefs your way? Hopefully not, and it’s just coincidence.


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