Dating update w/c Jan 16/17 – YTD first dates 7

Squeaked in my 2 first date quota this week by stacking 2 on Sun so when one bailed I still got my goal for the week. Total dates this week 3:

  • First date – Thurs Jan 19th – Tinder: NEXT – second Italian guy I’ve been on a date with this year.  I do tend to attract them as they have the look I like, dark hair, light eyes and skin that goes tan not red in the sun.  Anyway this one was soooo BETA I really couldn’t get out of there fast enough.  I had to actually stand and wait in front of the door before he opened it! I did give him a tip of a great walking club he could join for this troubles, if he follows through he may even meet a more suitable woman.
  • Second date – Fri Jan 20th – Happn: Actually a good date and the best part was he insisted I could leave before the bill arrived so I did. Not sure I’ll hear from him again but wasn’t that fussed.  I would like to write a bit more about “Arnie” and what he taught me about the rules but feeling quite tired today.
  • First date – Sun Jan 22nd – Badoo / Blendr: He delayed the date by an hour and came across as a bit full of himself. Nice eyes and face but a chubby man who stated on the date that he hadn’t been to a gym in 2 year, but and I quote this, “I stay active, walking, driving, generally getting around”.  I couldn’t help it, had to point out that driving wasn’t very active he seemed unfazed.  He has texted to ask me out again so I’ll give him another chance but he is very close to being a next.  Highlight of the date was that as we walked back to the station after the date a guy blatantly took a picture of me. My date proudly proclaimed that there were paparazzi all around snapping me.  For once I met the rules brief of making a guy feel like he is dating a TV star J

I only arranged 4 dates this week and put in minimal effort so it was a good week. Also managed to work out 3 times so winning!

Thanks for reading!!

Dating Diva xx

Dating update w/c Jan 9/17 – YTD first dates 5

This week I had 3 dates but 2 were second dates so the YTD counter didn’t move much. I started the week agreeing to dates with at least a dozen men but majority of them failed to sort out logistics and lock me down for a date.  Three of them asked me in the middle of logistics, “what I was looking for on the site”, I tried three different responses, “Looking to meet new people”, “looking to date and see”, “you first” in all cases the outcome was the same they did not follow through on the date.  In my experience no guy that has asked this question has been interested in just dating and meeting someone nice.  I wait to be proven wrong.

  • Second date – Wed 11th Jan – Tinder Prince2: He planned the date based on my profile, Mexican food for dinner followed by a sci-fi movie, I really appreciated that. Some pink flags cropped up, he said he had been renting a storage container for his stuff since splitting up with his ex as she had a really large house and he accumulated a lot of stuff. Issue I have is that he broke up with his ex in 2010! An ambitions man would have found a larger place for himself, a sensible one would have decluttered.  He has sent me a couple of messages postdate but none of them were asking me out so I have ignored.
  • First date – Fri 13th Jan – Tinder: NEXT – we spoke on the phone in Dec and he mentioned he had a 9yr old daughter which for me is a deal breaker. However, my dating coach (India Kang) has been urging me to keep an open mind so as he managed to lock me down for a date I thought I’d go.  I need to point out that unlike some of my other dates this guy did the bare minimum, after finding a day that worked he asked me for where and when.  Below is the exchange that followed:

Me: “Anytime after 6:30pm near ABC tube station”.

Him: “Great I’ll head over your way at 6:30pm”

Him: (on date day) “Are we still on for tonight?”

Me: “yes”

Him: “Great where am I headed?”

Me: (fighting the urge to tell him to read my messages) “ABC tube station”

Him: “Great see you at 6:30pm!”

Me: “Sorry, can we do a bit later? Closer to 7ish?” (again annoyed that he would pick 6:30pm when I had clearly said AFTER”

Him: (at 6pm) “I’m here, no rush take your time, I’ll wander around the shops”

Me: (at 6:45pm) “Where shall I find you?”

Him: “I’m in DEF part of the shopping area”

Him: (at 7:05pm) “I’m heading back to the station exit”

Me: (at 7:30pm) “I’m here” (not rulesy but I really didn’t know how else to find him)

Him: “will come up to the exit now”

This was the most annoying exchange as I wished he had taken charge and said I’m in XYZ coffee shop/bar or restaurant.  Where we met there were at least a 100 places to choose from and he couldn’t in over an hour of waiting for me and wandering around find even one!!!

I met him and he was SHORT, and usually I can tell from the profile pics if they don’t put their height down but I got it wrong and was annoyed.  Also he looked a lot older than his stated age, closer to 50 than 40, and clearly his pictures were dated.

When we met he asked where we were going so I led him a bit away from the crowds and pointed to a few places and we settled on one. I had to lead as the place he picked was super busy and I couldn’t hear him so suggested one a bit further away.

On the date I discovered he had a naff job doing security and owned a flat out of the city and seemed very happy with no desire to really progress in life.  So I won’t be wasting my time with him again. He has texted and I’ve ignored. NEXT.

  • Second date – Sat 14th Jan – Happn “Detective”: He asked if I’d like to see a movie on Sat, I had agreed, he sent me a few choices then picked when I said they all sounded great. He asked if I’d like to 5pm or 8pm show and I picked the later show.  He then said he would see me at the cinema at 7:45pm.  We met, bought tickets, watched movie walked back to the tube station and said goodbye.  It felt a bit crap that he didn’t offer to go for a drink after or suggest an early dinner before.  During the movie after we finished our popcorn he reached over and took my hand and held it.  I liked the confidence that exhibited but it felt a bit childish.  I then didn’t know what to do with my hand, could I at some point take it back?  It was so innocent that in the end I just let him hold it for the rest of the movie which was 90mins.  On the walk back to the station I kept my hands in my jacket pocket.  When we said goodbye he grabbed the sides of my arms (my hands were still in my pocket) and pulled me in for a peck on the lips.  I did pull back almost as soon as our lips locked, I didn’t want to kiss him, but I didn’t mind AT ALL!

Overall this week wasn’t as successful in my eyes as last week.  I started to think I wasn’t putting in enough of an effort towards dating and finding new men.  But then I had to remind myself that I have NEVER dated in January.  If single Jan is for getting back to my dating weight and hibernating in warm pubs with good friends.  But I’ve been on 8 dates since the start of this year which is more socialising than I’m used to.  I have a few good leads for next week and hope I can manage 2 first dates.

Thanks for reading!

DatingDiva xx

Dating update w/c Jan 2/17

They say you should start the year the way you hope to continue and I was determined to do just that.  This week was a solid 4 date week, I agreed to meet 6 new men and 4 of them succeeded in locking me down for a date.  Here is the recap of this week’s dating:

  • First date – Tue 3rd Jan – Met on Badoo (I think) I honestly didn’t remember this guy at all but he was texting me on my dating phone so I agreed to meet him. He seemed very average in looks, job, and interests.  When he informed me he shared a ROOM (not a flat) with his brother and hoped that in 4 – 5 years’ time he would be able to afford a place in the outskirts of London with his brother my ovaries shrivelled up. He asked me out again but I’ve ignored the message.
  • First date – Wed 4th Jan (5:30pm) – Tinder nickname Prince2 as his opening line was wanting to be my Prince2 since I worked in project management (it is a project management joke). Picked a nice spot to meet and it was a pleasant first meeting. I am worried that his isn’t particularly ambitious and has coasted along in life on privilege and above average intelligence.  He asked me out again and I’m hoping to see him this coming Wed.
  • First date – Wed 4th Jan (7pm) – Tinder – I was instantly attracted to him but he didn’t have a lot of substance. I found myself fairly bored on the date and have discovered he has subsequently unmatched me so feeling was mutual.
  • First date – Fri 6th Jan (8pm) – HAppn – Wasn’t sure I would be attracted to him but I was in spite of his 5ft6” height. He opted for my now favourite wine bar / coffee shop and after inquiring my preference in wine ordered a bottle of my favourite and a bunch of nibbles which I consumed while he talked and talked and talked. I struggled to end the date in 2 hrs and we did end up going about 10 mins over.  However, it was one of my best first date experiences thus far and a great start to 2017 and a brilliant end to my first week of the year.  He too has asked me out again and I’m hoping to arrange something with him soon.

Overall I’m ahead with 4 first dates under my belt.  I’ve also managed to get to the gym 3 time and yoga studio twice this week so feeling quite positive.

Introduction

I’m single, never married, no kids, ambitious 30 something woman living the good life in London. I have a successful job, good group of friends, am socially well-adjusted and not seeking a partner for financial or emotional support. In other words I’m picky and Mr. Right needs to be just right, life is too good to compromise for someone unexceptional.

My dating coach once said, like attracts like, so I should write down all the qualities I wanted in a man and then honestly assess if I was able to provide the same back.  Upon completing the exercise I realised I was dating way below my level! I have yet to decide whether I’ve got an inflated sense of self-worth or if I do deserve a man that lives up to the same high standard I impose on myself.

I started “rules” dating in 2016 and have found it a great way to meet a lot more people and feel more confident and hopeful about my prospects of meeting Mr Right in 2017.

Once I got into the rhythm of dating in late 2016 I was routinely going on 2+ dates a week. With the maximum dates in a week being 7. Unfortunately after 40+ dates in 2016 there was no Mr. Right or even a guy I was particularly excited about.  Therefore this year I’ve set myself a challenge of going on 100 first dates, which would mean I meet 2 new men every week until the Christmas break.

I’m secretly hoping that I meet Mr. Right and do not complete my mission.  Hopefully this blog will keep me accountable and maybe provide hope to some others out there looking for love.

Thanks for reading!

Dating Diva xx